It's not my turn

It's not my turn to have it all together. It hasn't been my turn for a while, but it's taken me this long to realize it. Rather than feeling I am akin to the "have nots" and as though I am not really living, I am accepting the gift that is in front of me that I have been too scared to unwrap.

It's not my turn to have it together. It's my turn to be spontaneous, crazy, reckless, and single in a new city. It's my turn to go on lots of dates with lots of people, some relationships lasting longer than others. I will take it for what it is and reconcile my losses with the many free drinks. It's my turn to struggle a ton and be poor but there will be something just barely cool about it. I will make the most fun memories now...and then it will all come together...slowly. I'll get the job, I'll get the friends, I'll get the man. I'll get the adult life I worked so hard to achieve and I'll get the stability. Just not right now.